Giving You the Best That I’ve Got

It was my intention that this blog be devoted to writing topics, but today I’m thinking about my husband. I guess indirectly it’s still about writing. Our relationship is the main focus of the novel I’m working on.

He died a year ago on May 9th, but the man I married died many years ago. Eight years before he died he decided he didn’t want to be married anymore and packed up and left. Told me and our children he was leaving because I didn’t want him anymore.

He was no longer the person I had fallen in love with. He had become a selfish, bitter, suspicious man who alienated himself from his friends and family. This was not the happy, gregarious, life of the party I had married. I spent so much time being angry with him I let other things in my life go. I should have let some of that anger out on paper.

In the end he was pensive and seemed remorseful. I couldn’t be angry anymore. He said he loved me and I did still love him. I also felt sorry for him. I hope he knew that when it came down to it I did all I could for him.