My son will be leaving home in a few weeks to attend college. This should be a happy time for us, but I’m scared to death. My son is an 18 year old African American male.

I had “the talk” with him when he was around twelve years old. I told him to respect the police and do what they tell him to do if they ever stop him. No back talk. No eye rolling. No hesitation. At the time it upset me that I had to tell him these things. I didn’t want him to fear or hate the police.

Now, when he goes out, I worry. I worry that he may be hit by a stray bullet that someone may fire into a crowd. I worry that someone won’t like the way he looks and beats him up for that reason only. I also worry that a policeman will stop him for whatever reason and he won’t have a good enough explanation as to what he’s doing and why he’s there.

I have been more afraid for him than I have ever been for my daughter. As a young woman she is more vulnerable than he is. I never had “the talk” with her but now I have decided to include her due to recent events. The three of us talked about recent events with the police and I reinforced my earlier advice.

I don’t want either of them to have to watch their backs when they go out. They’re young. They should have a good time. I pray that they both grow to be happy, independent, courageous adults. I pray that they don’t have to have “the talk” with their children.