I have written, re-written and edited this article/blog post about Valentine’s Day at least four times. What’s the problem? I want to say good things about this holiday because I do love, love. I’m just trying to examine how I feel about this holiday and these displays of love. Show me you love me every day. I honestly do get it though. Love is special and we get a whole day to express it.

Valentine’s Day was special to me way before I even knew about being in love. It’s my sister’s birthday. My mom had a special heart-shaped cake pan that she’d bake her birthday cakes with. One year, she left me in charge of the birthday cake. I used the regular cake pans because there was only one heart-shaped pan. I needed to make a two layer cake. It was more work to bake one layer, wait for it to cool and remove and bake another. So, I used the regular pans. My mom was furious. I don’t know how my sister felt. I had frosted the cake pink and made it pretty so I thought my job was done.

Other than my sister’s birthday the other joy I got out of Valentine’s Day was making a box to collect the many cards I would receive when I was in elementary school. The teachers would have us bring in an old shoe box that we would decorate with red and pink paper and hearts. Then, on the special day we would collect cards from our classmates in the boxes.

One year, a boy gave me a candy bar for Valentine’s Day. I had to be about 10 or 12 years old. He liked me but I didn’t care much for him. That year, the holiday had fallen after the Lenten season had started and I had given up chocolate. I did take the candy bar. I prayed on that candy bar and ate it.

After grade school Valentine’s Day wasn’t as important. Through high school and college there was never a really special someone to share it with. I can’t say I knew anything about love. I only dreamed that someday I’d find it.

My perspective of the holiday did change when I met my future husband. I came to appreciate it because I got gifts. I never thought he was particularly romantic, but he would give me cards, candy or flowers on Valentine’s Day.  

Those gifts and romantic gestures are just memories now. My husband passed away some years ago and our romantic relationship ended before that. I now tell my children and mother that I love them whenever I can. My children have given me cards and gifts and shown their love. A change for the holiday this year is that I have decided to celebrate ME. One thing that the Covid shutdown taught me is that I really do enjoy my own company. I pledge that I will love myself and ban negative thoughts about me and the things I love to do. Self-care and self-love will feed my self-esteem.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Who are you celebrating with?

I’m Adrienne E. Gray. Welcome to my blog. If you follow me on social media, you may already know a little something about me (or, know of me). Whether you follow me or not, thank you for being here. I’ve been trying a little too hard to perfect what I’m doing here. I planned to share it in January, but here it is now. I truly hope it’s worth looking into.

Here’s a little about me. I was born and grew up in Pittsburgh, PA, but came south to attend college and moved here after graduation. I started writing in high school. Back then, I dreamed of writing the “Great American Novel”.  Instead, I wrote sad poetry about my dreams of love. Right now, I’m working on this blog. The novel is still very much a work in progress.

I started the blog almost 10 years ago. If you look at some of my past posts, you can see it’s just a mish mash of thoughts. I never really gave it a theme. It’s just become thoughts of a 60 something year old me. I invite you to read, comment and share at will.

As for the name of the blog, I came up with the name AdieInk in high school. I was keeping a journal then and that was one of my doodles along with an idea for a logo which I drew on everything I could. Adie is my nickname and the Ink represents my writing – with an ink pen. My latest configuration is below; still working on it.

So, please follow me, share my blog and send me comments. I’d like to see where I can take this. I hope to put something out a few times a month ideas and thoughts willing. I’m still working on that book, but for now, it’s AdieInk.com.